Being a girl...

I get very sensetive to people and things happening around me sometimes.

I get insanely nervous about everything and don't think before I say or do things.

I get really mad at myself because I know all my faults and shortcomings too well and feel like no one understands me.

God, I know you have a plan for me and that you love me even though I suck.
But I get so caught up in what I want to look like for the world's sake and not for your sake.

For a girl like me, I had to learn the hard way that peace does not come by my own will. I can't wish bad circumstances out of my head; I can't make anything right by just thinking about something else.

It's hard and useless work to do that, I now realize. The more I try, the more I fall.

The only way peace (the true kind, not the kind that you think you want when in reality all it will bring you is heartbreak and depression) can enter my life is if I COMPLETELY and TOTALLY surrender to my Jesus.

It's very hard. To just trust him for everyday things is probably harder than to go to him when I'm in desperate need.

But by going to him for literally EVERYTHING, I am now more closer to Him. I can talk to him without shame and know that he loves to listen to me and never tires of my prayers.

Try finding that in a guy. haha.

I don't want to rely on myself, for even the little things (because we all can see I'm sorta human), so why not trust in God to help me pass a final? Why not ask for peace and understanding when I sit down and study? Why not pray that I won't be late for school?

It's not laziness, its faith.

So even though I'm a worrywart and am human and am very sensetive at times, he's got my back.

yay!

Love ya!