The Great Romance

Has God become a fad, where once we have experienced life outside of the "teenage love story with God", that somehow God becomes small, not-important, and dispensable with "real things" like romantic relationships.

Do you not know of the Great Romance? Of the first Romancer?

He is an untamed lion, full of passion and rage and jealousy for his bride.

His love is uncontainable, His heart has no walls.

He was the one who first called you into being, into life.

He breathed your tiny soul into existence, and he formed you so that there never was, never is, and never will be someone exactly like you.

He has fought the devil in a vicious battle of blood and death for the sole purpose that you would not die an eternal death.

He is alive. He is roaring. He is on the prowl.

The demons tremble at the sound of him shaking his majestic mane. They flee at the mere thought of him entering a room.

He stormed the gates of hell, and came alive from death victoriously.

....why?

You.

Why has my beautiful Jesus, my lover, my friend, become so small and describable to his own people?

Beautiful things have no comparison to the one who invented beauty. Who invented love. And who loves you.

The day you were born

The world...oh the world.

Do you know something?

I'm hurting inside, really deep

Now that I probably can't sleep, 

I have to tell you something, oh beautiful world.

Do you remember the day you were born?

The day that your parents and loved ones celebrate 

Because it was the day YOU came.

YOU mean something.

But do YOU remember it?

Of course not, silly question.

You were too young then.

But hear this...it was a beautiful day.

You were made and boom, out you came and put into your mother's arms.

Holding, caressing you.

And your father, gazing in awe at the beauty of such a little version of you.

You were beautiful to them.

But they knew. They knew.

You would grow up, you would find "who you were."

You would do things.

You wouldn't do things.

You would curse, swear, rape, murder, lie, cheat, steal, ignore, forget...

You would do it all.

But your mom still loved you.

Your father still loved you.

They created you.

......they remember the day you were born.

My Duty

I hate the feeling of helplessness.

I hate the ickiness of politics.

So therefore, I hate politics.

i hate that I can't look at a candidates mouth, either the donkey or the elephant, and actually believe that what they are saying is bonafide and true.

I hate that countries are falling apart.

I hate that when I watch anything about my country that I want to turn it off because the wave of hopelessness that comes from the energy of EVERYTHING just screams at me YOU CAN'T DO ANYTNING!!!

That, though, isn't completely true.

I may not like what I hear, but I'm going to start to hear it. I feel like people, Christians mainly, have separated themselves from politics saying "It's a hell-bent system and ain't nothing but the fire of God can help us now..."

God did not put us here to be naive and to live in little happy bubbles not listening the silent cry our world is screaming out.

So ya. I may not like at all one bit what I hear from the news, politicians, or any other of that....stuff.

But I'm going to start listening.

The deadly virus of doom...

I hate colds. More than I hate fevers, stomach flus, and all other sicknesses.

Because at least when you have a fever, you have a reason to get off work or stay home from school and just sleep all day. There are specific things that people know to do when they have a fever.

Even with barfing. At least after you barf, you feel better. The only way to feel fine before you barf is drink ginger ale or, just barf. And then you can go about your merry way.

But no no no. Not with colds. They're too smart for humans. They are so miniscule on the overall sickness rating, yet so common and numerous in variety that not one person on the history of the world has found a cure.

Leprosy, heck ya it's curable. But wait, you have a cold? Sorry. You're on your own.

I recently have been overtaken by this MONSTROUS DISEASE that still does not qualify me to not go to work and ensicken others.

But I just wanted to go over the stages of colds

Day 1: It's before the cold really kicks in. You slept with your mouth open and breathed in cold air all night to bring that horrible pain that just sits in your throat, just screaming, "Just you wait til the real guy gets here." You feel dizzy and dribbly and just not good, but you have no choice but to continue on with your day (at least it got you out of working out that morning). It continued to bother you everytime you breathed or swallowed. You go to bed hoping it just fades away.

Day 2: Nope. FULL FORCE BABAY!! Scarred throats, blocked nasal passageways for air but a constant river for snot, sneezing every 6 minutes (the number of death) and sounding like a bumblebee is in your brain.

Day 3: look at day 2. Dayquil helped for a couple hours, but still people avoided you like the plague.

Day 4: After drinking massive amounts of tea, water, orange juice, dayquil, nyquil, and alka-seltzer you start to feel a little bit better in the throat, but the nose is still the open rivers of living waters. As you go to work as a cashier where you talk all day, the cough starts to kick in and then all of a sudden, a frog has lodged itself in your throat making you sound like you have been chain-smoking for 30 years.  Customers look at you odd and are very cautious with the reciepts you give them.

And now here I am. Laying with my feet in the air, rasping in my breaths, wondering how many people I have infected today, and knowing there's nothing I nor anyone else can do about it.

Sigh.

Counting your sneezes...

I have this cold that has attacked my face about 2 days ago.

I thought I was invincible, but it only takes a little virus of sore throats and sniffles to humble you down back to your insignificant little human self.

I counted today.

sneezed 23 times.

How sad.

All I do

I got a job. woop de doo.

One of my coworkers, I feel, does not like me.
Don't know why.
I.

Ugh.

I've come to terms with my social awkwardness, how I like who I am with all my quirks and giggles.
But still, I don't like it when I think that someone doesn't like me.

SPAZZ

My poor feet
Sit in defeat,
Swollen as a beet,
But they don't stink! :D

That was terrible.

So ya. What's been recently going on is...my dad bought a house and just moved in. I have yet to sleep over. It can be pretty hard to be with him sometimes.
School is a load. lots and lots of work.

It's hard for me, too, emotionally and, yes, spiritually to go to a school where your views on God are constantly ridiculed by your professors and all realists out there.

I feel like a tiny goldfish in a sea full of sharks.

Doubt rings in my ears, filling me with fear about my tomorrows, about my todays.
"What if God isn't real? Is it all worth it? Look at all the evidence..."
I just want to crash my head through a dead-bolted door on occasions, but days like today stop me.

Today was the day we had baptisms at church during the service. 5 people. There was one lady who when called on stage didn't want to say anything into the mic about the baptism or her testimony. After encouragement from the pastors and the whole congregation, she picked up the mic.

What she said was amazing.

"I grew up an atheist. I tried it for 5 decades and it just didn't work."

Standing O.

God is good. :)

Hey there, you.

Yay! Guess how long it's been...

A thousand years!!

But ya, thought I would just blurt some more stuff on here again like the good ol' days.
I'm now in community college, finally out of the the dreaded monster called high school.

But what's really wierd is that I still see many fellow CCHS students and they talk to me like everything was normal and that they've known me for years...

All the while I'm thinking, "Um...when were we ever friends? You ignored me for 4 years and now....wha?"

Ya, it's really odd how life changes on you like that. I guess it's a good change, but still, gives me random shivers.

Oh ya, thanks for asking about the cats. They are doing quite fantastic actually. Still sniffing and breathing and shedding and all that wonderful jazz.

They are my friends, especially recently, with the lack of a social life. They provide me with ample doses of cuddles and cuteness to keep my life on the smiley side. Of course they still run and hide when I walk through the door.

In their minds, I'm just the crazy, pink monster who squishes them everday and tries to talk in their language all the time.

...I truly wonder what it's like to be a cat. Would I then know "where it's at"?

Haha you get my joke.

So ya. Still breathing and moving and living the best I could.

Still love God, still have questions, but who doesn't, eh?

I hope to continue this bloggy, random, journal thingy that no one reads. It makes my senses wake up a bit, which makes me breath easier knowing I got all my inner guts out somewhere. Thanks for being here computer.